I'm truly sorry to hear that bad news sour grapes.
That point in your last paragraph is a classic example of Orwellian 'doublethink'. When with believers at meeting 'yes Jah is gonna kill everyone out there!' But when conversing with the public 'oh we're not judges, we can't read the heart, there'll be millions in paradise who've never heard of jw's'. All the while they believe not telling the WHOLE truth is is a form of lying.
Incidently I enjoyed you 1975 post some months back. It offered valuable insights into that period of the washtowl borganization's history.
Our thoughts are with you.